


Browulf

by cattink



Category: Beowulf (Poem)
Genre: Other, college fratboy au, do it for the vine beowulf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-17 06:39:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8133982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cattink/pseuds/cattink
Summary: In my Brit Lit I class, one of our assignments was a creative project inspired by one of our assigned texts, and from my efforts to stay focused while reading Beowulf this AU just sort of happened. I wrote this, then four pages explaining my decisions and analysis, and I got an A. Sharing this here for the fits and giggles. Enjoy this bad idea of mine.





	

Since the semester in which H. Roth Garrison was elected president of his university’s chapter of the Delta Nu Epsilon fraternity, the DNEs had enjoyed a time of deep brotherhood and growth. He even committed himself to restoring the chapter room of the house that had long stood in disrepair. He knew that the chapter would flourish more if their space was more welcoming to interested pledges. Funds were dispersed wisely into new couches, finely-crafted bookshelves, and complete restoration of the brick fireplace. Soon the DNEs gained renown across campus for being one of the chapters with finer taste and nicer living spaces. It was an emotionally and spiritually prosperous time for the brotherhood.

            Until one early September sunset when several new pledges, in their level of inebriation, broke out an old Ouija board. Their severe drunkenness caused them to forget that Will Ferrell was not dead, and instead they were greeted by a demon. Manically, the demon jerked the planchette across the board, revealing its name to be Grendel before sending the small piece of wood flying right into the fireplace. The stereo screeched to life and began scanning radio stations to create an ear-splitting cacophony. Bookshelves began to topple forward, each brother barely managing to save each other. As the boys ran out of the chapter room in terror, their president ran down the front staircase to investigate the noise.

            “We fucked up bad!” One of the slightly more sober ones readily confessed. “Please don’t kick us out!”

H. Roth Garrison cautiously approached the shut door to the invaded room. He tentatively placed his hand on the knob and opened the door. He couldn’t handle looking at the destruction for too long: pictures were flying off the walls, the bookshelves had toppled down and the leatherbound classics were spattered about, pages more than likely torn out. The couches were overturned. Blood began to pour from the ceiling onto the walls. A ghastly roar broke out, and H. Roth slammed the door, barely muffling the sound. 




            The storm outside had lifted but the street was still flooded enough to allow the nearby house of Gamma Tau Delta to partake in one of their favorite activities: the brothers gathered their longboards and pillowcases and ventured outdoors to sail down the fraternity row. Ben Wolfe, golden boy of the GTDs whipped out his iPhone 5s to begin recording he and his brothers sailing down the street. His Vine followers would love this, and likely give him credit for the idea. It would be his legacy in the world. Baseball cap firmly backwards on his head, he pushed his longboard down the street for his brothers to follow as he filmed the makeshift armada of college boys on skateboards propelling themselves down the street with pillowcase sails. As the momentum died down towards the end of the street, Ben came to a sudden halt. He could hear loud, rough crashes and shatters…from the DNEs? What was going on in that fruit house?

            He picked up his longboard and ran up the porch steps. Maybe they had finally decided to toughen up and were throwing a rager. Seemed a little early for that, but Ben wasn’t about to turn something like that down. Maybe he and his bros could even teach the DNEs a few tricks. He didn’t even bother to knock and just showed himself into the house, where he found most of the DNE boys panicked with H. Roth Garrison failing to calm anyone down.

            “Ben Wolfe…” H. Roth addressed him.

            “Uh, yeah,” Ben answered.

            Suddenly, H. Roth was struck with an idea. “Do you remember the religion class we had freshman year? You mentioned how you used to watch all sorts of ghost shows?”

            “Yeah, I had my fair share of _Haunting_ and _Celebrity Ghost Stories_ marathons back in the day,” Ben replied as he made a show of cracking his neck.

            “We have a bit of a…situation…in our chapter room because of a Ouija board incident,” H. Roth explained.

            Ben considered this. “Hmm, you know, I _did_ read a WikiHow article on how to use sage once. I think I got this, bro. But not for free.”

            “Whatever you want, just name it,” H. Roth replied. “Stewart,” he turned to his little, “can you run and buy some sage?”

            Stewart Ferth, true to his Draco Malfoy looks, begrudgingly grabbed his keys and stomped out of the house. He’d have plenty of passive-aggressive comebacks to rattle off when he returned.

            “Can you grab some Taco Bell while you’re out?” One boy called out.

            “Not now, we’ll feast when this is over,” H. Roth said.

            By now, Ben’s fraternity brothers had also let themselves into the DNE house. “Lemme just look at the damage,” Ben put his hand on the doorknob, and cracked open the door to the cursed room. “Holy shit,” he whispered.

            “Can you at least try?” H. Roth asked. “I don’t know what else to do."

            “Nah, I think I got this,” Ben said.

            Soon enough, Stewart returned with the sage and some matches. Ben handed his phone to one of his brothers. “I’ll take care of your squatter, Garrison,” he said as he lit the sage. He then turned to the brother holding the phone: “Make sure you record _all_ of it. This is gonna be the sickest Vine ever,” and he opened the door to face the demon, all on his own.


End file.
